... and this is why I call it Cee My Life

So here is the thing, I had dreams of being someone, getting places and having a bucket full of amazing accomplishments that I can be proud of. But here I am sitting in this familiar place with all the same surroundings and people, yet somehow I don’t recognize myself and have nothing in common with those people.

It’s been a rough few months, not because things have happened, quite the contrary, because things haven’t happened. And I could blame the universe, my luck, the region or even my self-doubt for so many of my misgivings, but I really won’t be doing myself any favors. I am here, this is the situation and I have to deal with it.

For too long my mind has been somewhere between wanting to give up and just live and let live- but then I remember at my core I am built to chase, to strive, to succeed. I used to believe that it would all make sense- all this waiting around will eventually culminate in something that has meaning. I don’t think I am looking for meaning anymore; I am looking for the right feeling. That gut feeling.

They say that things are meant to just fall into place: the job, the man, the location- but in reality it doesn’t fall into place at all, it seeps through the cracks, it hides in the dark and you have to dig for those things, you have to find the light. The beauty though, you can dig in the least expected of places and find them. The unknown can always surprise you, and that is when the light comes in.