Friday, December 13, 2013

The Confessional

This is why friends are the cheapest therapists.... I was there to hear her out not to make her feel better, but just to let her feel... So this is a blueprint of her thoughts and feelings.
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Do you love him?

What kind of question is that?
….
I want to know your answer, do you love him?

Every bone in my body, every aching heartbeat, every butterfly flutter in my tummy, every tear shed, screams how much I do. I love him.

I hate it when others call me beautiful because I just want him to say it.
I hate being touched by another man; I cringe at the thought of it.
I fight the feeling, day and night, but I can’t shake him out.
How can you shake out your own soul? Tell me how?!
….

But…
….

I don’t want anyone to tell me to get over him. To get over it.
I can’t get over the person I inhale and exhale.
Even when he looks at me with those deep set brown eyes, I melt
He melts me
I love him.

I see…

Then there are those fleeting moments. Where I catch him staring at me
It’s like time stops there and then, and I envision it
I envision sleeping beside him, having his babies, carrying his name
I would give up everything you know
Everything
I would sleep on the streets if need be.


Yes, I know. I really do.


And don’t tell me I am crazy
I know I can be pathetic at times 
Yes i admit it
But I crave him
Yes crave.
I just want to scream at him and tell him "You are man enough!"
"Let me be The Woman to that man that you are"
But he’s stubborn

Well…

….

Not much I can do.
I can’t say this to him. I can’t confess it.
Is this my confessional?


I’ll take out my pen and paper.


Thank you I probably won’t remember it in the morning.


I’ll make sure you do.

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The Cee

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