Actually it wouldn't be. It would eliminate excitement- the drive that keeps my motor running. So tomorrow might bring a smile or a heartbreak, it might bear good news or bring ill news- whichever way the pendulum of the future may swing, it will serve to add pages to my unfinished autobiography.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Unfinished Autobiography
Wouldn't it be grand to know where life will take you next? So you can write your autobiography, on every gleeful, tearful, indulgent or regretful moment?
Monday, April 26, 2010
Secrets of the Body
In my weekly dose of whisking through PostSecrets (the ultimate blog currently on the web) I came across the post shown above.
Perhaps it was coincidental? synchronicity? Or it is one of those ways where the universe always reveals to you the very thing that has been occupying your mind- things that were once in the shadows (in life and in your mind) but you are now forced to face again.
This whole week, actually in the last month, I have been hearing case after case of the dreaded "C" disease- some have recently discovered it, others are ailing because it and others have died fighting it.
To all those who have recently discovered it, keep strong in your faith and in your will and know when you fight this battle you will win and be someone else's Hero, and give someone else the courage to fight it too.
To all those who are ailing because of it, don't let a weak thought penetrate your mind and sap your body, fight for YOU and fight for all those who are holding your hand and know that even the silent killer can be silenced.
To all those who are resting in their death beds, I have faith that you fought hard, but God's will for you to return to His light was far greater. R.I.P
But in this post, there is something interesting to take, and that is even in our drunken state of mind, or in our moments of weakened sobriety, we still have fear of the double D's (Death and Disease) and we want to start listening to our body- because if we listen hard enough it will tell us when something is wrong.
You know your body best, so don't discard any sudden changes; start listening to your body- it could be signs that are as soft as the pitter patter of light rain, or it could be as loud as a herd of buffalos stampeding.
But also don't live in fear that something will happen to you, because The most destructive element in the human mind is fear.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The Unquestioned Destination of Life is Death
Not the best way to kick start the week, with talk of death and accidents and loss... nevertheless we should not fear the inevitable only pray for the souls of those who have come to pass from light to darkness to the light of God in Heaven.
So here is a prayer from me to all those who have left this ephemeral Earth and are basking in the glory of God in the Kingdom of heaven:
"God our Father,
Your power brings us to birth,
Your providence guides our lives,
and by Your command we return to dust.
Lord, those who die still live in Your presence,
their lives change but do not end.
I pray in hope for my family,
relatives and friends,
and for all the dead known to You alone.
In company with Christ,
Who died and now lives,
may they rejoice in Your kingdom,
where all our tears are wiped away.
Unite us together again in one family,
to sing Your praise forever and ever.
Amen. "
Your faithful servant, Celine.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Summer Kind of Love (2)
A few blogs ago, I decided to write and create a story based on this fictional character called Sarah- a few you who have read it may have figured that Sarah has very similar traits and characteristics to me, and that may be true, but I assure you the events of this story are purely fictional and do not recount a true story (disclaimer), so any predications that this is based on Celine Aswad is false...
Now, and more importantly, I have decided to give you bits and pieces of the story, from various parts, rather than in sequential order, and this may be a marketing strategy so in case one day I do decide to write and publish this into a novel, I would have only revealed snippets of it here and there. So here is another dose of the story- Enjoy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vibrate, vibrate- the BlackBerry was blinking red again. Another email to interrupt the summer stroll, but she had no other choice but to take out the interruptive device from its black leather holster. Sarah placed the Bold in her hand and her eyes were glued onto the screen; her soft smile turned to concern and her brows furrowed. Phil was looking at the series of facial expression changes; the email was clearly not good news. Her hands started to shake, though he couldn’t see what she was reading, he could see her double blink, as if to shrug off what she read the first time, and re-read it to confirm that the words that stared back at her were real, and really loaded. A death, a fire that destroyed her house, an accident, an ex sending her an email? Different spurts of thoughts started popping up in his mind. Why was he concerned all that much? He instinctively took a step forward with the intent to comfort her, but she paid him no attention. She started typing away at her device, pausing then typing, pausing and then there it was a tear (of loss, anger, fear?) escaping a blink. She continued to type away, took a deep breath in, as if she were about to submerge herself underwater, took a final look at her BB and docked it back in the holster, and threw it back in her purse.
The streets of Paris were buzzing with summer tunes, filled with tourists and Parisians frolicking to the beat of the sun rays that penetrated the cloud dotted sky. Even those going to work on this Wednesday morning were in no rush, but all these summer enchantments dissipated as Sarah felt a cold chill swarm her body and heard her heart beat take a nosedive into a bottomless pit- bad news always travels fast. She gazed into nowhere in particular until she caught her reflection in his black tinted glasses. He was inching closer to her, and her eyes swelled up with more tears she had been trying to fight back, her first instinct was to turn and run the opposite direction, as far away from happiness as she could. But happiness embraced her, and she let go.
He stood there, with her face in the clasp of his palms; she was as delicate as the petal of a blossoming rose. As her tears ran down her face like morning dew trickling down he stood helpless, there was nothing more he can do but cradle her in his arms softly rocking her, and soothing her. Her tears turned to sobs, and her breathing became heavier, as she breathed deeply she pulled away from him, slightly shying away, she didn’t want him to see her weak. He smudged away the now smeared black mascara that found its way to the middle of her cheek and onto his white shirt. She still looked beautiful. “You think I’m just a cry baby right now, don’t you?” she asked as the remnants of the last inked black tear dripped onto her sky-blue blouse. “Let’s go to a toy shop and make the cry baby feel better?” She could not help but giggle at his attempt to make her smile, “may be ice cream on the way?” She scrambled in her purse in search of a tissue and mirror to fix the mess she created, but to no avail, “what’s the point of carrying this huge thing when it does not even have what I need” she thought to herself, “waste of money.” “Here you go”, he handed her his sunglasses, “that should temporarily veil you from the outside world till you get yourself cleaned up”. She wore them, thanked him with a smile, he placed his arms around her shoulders and they continued down the streets of Paris together.
A slight summer breeze brushed against them as they walked and she ate her Walls ice-cream, strawberry and vanilla, that ought to set the mood just right. Ice-cream was the best “pick-me up”, the cold burst of flavor was refreshing. Then sun rays reflected off the Seine and his green eyes, as he finally began to ask her, “So the Black Berry isn’t always the bearer of good news now is it? Want to talk about it?”
Now, and more importantly, I have decided to give you bits and pieces of the story, from various parts, rather than in sequential order, and this may be a marketing strategy so in case one day I do decide to write and publish this into a novel, I would have only revealed snippets of it here and there. So here is another dose of the story- Enjoy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vibrate, vibrate- the BlackBerry was blinking red again. Another email to interrupt the summer stroll, but she had no other choice but to take out the interruptive device from its black leather holster. Sarah placed the Bold in her hand and her eyes were glued onto the screen; her soft smile turned to concern and her brows furrowed. Phil was looking at the series of facial expression changes; the email was clearly not good news. Her hands started to shake, though he couldn’t see what she was reading, he could see her double blink, as if to shrug off what she read the first time, and re-read it to confirm that the words that stared back at her were real, and really loaded. A death, a fire that destroyed her house, an accident, an ex sending her an email? Different spurts of thoughts started popping up in his mind. Why was he concerned all that much? He instinctively took a step forward with the intent to comfort her, but she paid him no attention. She started typing away at her device, pausing then typing, pausing and then there it was a tear (of loss, anger, fear?) escaping a blink. She continued to type away, took a deep breath in, as if she were about to submerge herself underwater, took a final look at her BB and docked it back in the holster, and threw it back in her purse.
The streets of Paris were buzzing with summer tunes, filled with tourists and Parisians frolicking to the beat of the sun rays that penetrated the cloud dotted sky. Even those going to work on this Wednesday morning were in no rush, but all these summer enchantments dissipated as Sarah felt a cold chill swarm her body and heard her heart beat take a nosedive into a bottomless pit- bad news always travels fast. She gazed into nowhere in particular until she caught her reflection in his black tinted glasses. He was inching closer to her, and her eyes swelled up with more tears she had been trying to fight back, her first instinct was to turn and run the opposite direction, as far away from happiness as she could. But happiness embraced her, and she let go.
He stood there, with her face in the clasp of his palms; she was as delicate as the petal of a blossoming rose. As her tears ran down her face like morning dew trickling down he stood helpless, there was nothing more he can do but cradle her in his arms softly rocking her, and soothing her. Her tears turned to sobs, and her breathing became heavier, as she breathed deeply she pulled away from him, slightly shying away, she didn’t want him to see her weak. He smudged away the now smeared black mascara that found its way to the middle of her cheek and onto his white shirt. She still looked beautiful. “You think I’m just a cry baby right now, don’t you?” she asked as the remnants of the last inked black tear dripped onto her sky-blue blouse. “Let’s go to a toy shop and make the cry baby feel better?” She could not help but giggle at his attempt to make her smile, “may be ice cream on the way?” She scrambled in her purse in search of a tissue and mirror to fix the mess she created, but to no avail, “what’s the point of carrying this huge thing when it does not even have what I need” she thought to herself, “waste of money.” “Here you go”, he handed her his sunglasses, “that should temporarily veil you from the outside world till you get yourself cleaned up”. She wore them, thanked him with a smile, he placed his arms around her shoulders and they continued down the streets of Paris together.
A slight summer breeze brushed against them as they walked and she ate her Walls ice-cream, strawberry and vanilla, that ought to set the mood just right. Ice-cream was the best “pick-me up”, the cold burst of flavor was refreshing. Then sun rays reflected off the Seine and his green eyes, as he finally began to ask her, “So the Black Berry isn’t always the bearer of good news now is it? Want to talk about it?”
Monday, April 19, 2010
Light and Shadow
Crawl out the shadows/ ...Crawl back into the shadows
Submerge into light/ Away from the light
Don’t stare at the glare/ The glare is too much to bare
Because it’s just a little bright/ It’s just too bright
Walk strong and tall to face the day/ Double-bent turning into the night
Pocket of hope,fist clenched to fight/ Empty bag of dreams and a letdown shield
Come closer feel it beat loud/ Moving further feel it echo through empty chambers
That’s right you’re near to breaking my fears but I just might.../ That’s right I return to my
Submerge into light/ Away from the light
Don’t stare at the glare/ The glare is too much to bare
Because it’s just a little bright/ It’s just too bright
Walk strong and tall to face the day/ Double-bent turning into the night
Pocket of hope,fist clenched to fight/ Empty bag of dreams and a letdown shield
Come closer feel it beat loud/ Moving further feel it echo through empty chambers
That’s right you’re near to breaking my fears but I just might.../ That’s right I return to my
fears.
Red Flags and White Hearts
Red flags are warning signs that signal disaster.
A red flag situation could stare you right in the face waving at you like that man wearing a florescent vest waving his flag as he directs the aircraft where to park (I am sure he has an official title), but you are so blinded, or feel as notorious and powerful as Achilles, thinking that you can overcome all perils. But even he had a weak heel- the downfall of the Hero all from a weak heel.
I am no better than that Greek Hero. They could be waving me in the face, and yet I take a leap of faith (or fall into a death trap) thinking that I can overcome the difficulties, the challenges and the obstacles. But don’t hold your breath, because most of the time I come out slightly bruised, injured and shaken.
I blame my Achilles Heel -my niceness. It is my greatest pitfall and it is sometimes taken advantage of (and I didn’t figure that one out I was told it- go figure when your heart is white it's hard to see the darkness because you shine your light on all that is hidden between the shadows)I clearly recongized a weakness or a flaw so the smartest thing to do is to get rid of it, but my very weakness makes me who I am, the girl that everyone has come to know as Cece, Cico, Panin, Lino, Nino, C, Ceepee. I just trust that I won’t be taken advantage of, but then again there is another flaw, I trust too easy, or see the good in man before his vices (and by man I mean human kind not male).
I digress…
Point is I will continue to live my life bypassing red flags with a white heart, even though I look back in hindsight and think, “Why the hell did I not see that coming, all the signs pointed to disaster!”
A red flag situation could stare you right in the face waving at you like that man wearing a florescent vest waving his flag as he directs the aircraft where to park (I am sure he has an official title), but you are so blinded, or feel as notorious and powerful as Achilles, thinking that you can overcome all perils. But even he had a weak heel- the downfall of the Hero all from a weak heel.
I am no better than that Greek Hero. They could be waving me in the face, and yet I take a leap of faith (or fall into a death trap) thinking that I can overcome the difficulties, the challenges and the obstacles. But don’t hold your breath, because most of the time I come out slightly bruised, injured and shaken.
I blame my Achilles Heel -my niceness. It is my greatest pitfall and it is sometimes taken advantage of (and I didn’t figure that one out I was told it- go figure when your heart is white it's hard to see the darkness because you shine your light on all that is hidden between the shadows)I clearly recongized a weakness or a flaw so the smartest thing to do is to get rid of it, but my very weakness makes me who I am, the girl that everyone has come to know as Cece, Cico, Panin, Lino, Nino, C, Ceepee. I just trust that I won’t be taken advantage of, but then again there is another flaw, I trust too easy, or see the good in man before his vices (and by man I mean human kind not male).
I digress…
Point is I will continue to live my life bypassing red flags with a white heart, even though I look back in hindsight and think, “Why the hell did I not see that coming, all the signs pointed to disaster!”
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