k=Change

Change is a constant- change happens all around us all the time, it's just how we deal with it that changes. Sometimes Change is a second chance at a new life, and sometimes Change is death.

Juxtaposing in the Middle

There is no region richer in history and tradition than the Middle East. It is a vibrant terrain where millions of pious Jews, Muslims and Christians flock to practice their religion seeking redemption, forgiveness or fulfillment of a pillar of duties. It has captivated Western historians and archeologists, as well as numerous weapons arms dealers who find that the region of eternal strife and conflict leads to more “dinero" --> money.

You would think that as an Arab I would be more interested to find out what’s going on in Palestine and Israel, I should be fighting to regain the Golan Heights, and securing the southern borders of Lebanon- I should be politically motivated and throw my fist in the air and rush to protest against the red hands of the Zionists whenever I get the chance to- but instead I am apathetic. As a lover of history I should learn more about the complex modern history that has lead to the current dislocations, however, my interest in Middle Eastern history was purely restricted to early civilization- ask me anything about 20th century Middle East and I am as dumb as that Miss Teen USA contestant. Why? Because unsolvable matters that endure the clash of egos and that are confound to early scriptures and religious text simply don’t interest me.

What does interest me is finding a way to coexist.

In my last trip to see my Grandma, I took this photo. I found this single spot- from Baghdad Street in Aleppo (Syria), to, at least architecturally and landscape wise, depict exactly the reasons why I am not a fighter or an extremist or a politician. As utopian as my vision is, I find that juxtaposing the St. George Cathedral with the Tawheed (Oneness) Mosque, symbolizes a harmony and coexistence that could transpire in the Middle East, and indeed all over the world.

Egos too often clash to create differences, and differences lead to debates, debating escalates to arguments and arguments lead to bloodshed. Bloodshed leads to revenge and revenge invigorates fundamentalists. Fundamentalists breed terrorists and terrorists inflict fear, and fear once created is never destroyed. Fear becomes embedded in the DNA of the society, and the poor feed off of it- like hungry birds of prey, and it regenerates into the new generation. This is a vortex that Middle Easterners find no escape from- and haven’t found an escape from since the first historically recorded war which was the Battle of Kadesh (now located in modern day Syria) in 1274 BCE—that was over 3200 years ago!!!

So really who is Celine to make a difference or put an end to the war, if 3000 years couldn’t? And I know as the Arab saying goes “droplets of water could erode a rock” – but our damn rocks are non-erodible! So what else can I offer but a vision, and be in my own life what I believe governments and leaders should be- open, liberal and coexisting. Don’t misunderstand it that we should be spineless and hippy like, we have certain things we should defend, but the defense should be about defending humanity, not territory. It should be about coexisting in a space- not separating. May be we should learn from our Buddhist friends who believe that peace comes from within, not from without- if a man is at peace with himself he will not create calamity around him. Borrowing a quote from Buddha “You should respect each other and refrain from disputes; you should not, like water and oil, repel each other, but should, like milk and water, mingle together.”

Unveiled

Just when you think you can breathe a sigh of relief for a society taking one step forward, there is something that happens that flings you back 10,000 yards.

I had a business trip planned next week to visit a project that I have been working tirelessly on across the Kingdom (the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia that is), however, I was told today that no females were allowed to enter the male bank branches in Riyadh (the capital city). For all of you who feel that the idea of “female” and “male” branches is a far and distant notion, welcome to Saudi Arabia, where “singles” can’t mingle with the “families” and females can’t deal with male bankers… amongst a whole host of other segregations.

Sure there has been numerous debates, countless articles written and forums formulated to discuss this very issue… but it’s like the Arab saying goes “’am bitghano bil tahoon” “You are singing in the mills”- in other words your voice is never really heard, and no one really does anything about it.

It’s hard to change a mindset that is grounded in law- and not any law but Islamic ‘Shariah’ law- and a mindset that is further concealed by layers of traditions and customs that have no basis in law, but have understood (or misunderstood) the law in their own twisted fanatical ways. Screw fanaticisms in all its shapes and sizes!

Now that I have vented, I can speak on a much less “emotional” note, and say that I am proud of the progress some woman have made in the Saudi society, they have gone from being domesticated to being educated, gone from working in the kitchen to opening restaurants and bakery shops, they have gained recognition in the local, regional and international sphere because of their achievements whether as writers, horseback riders or inspirational leaders. There is a plight towards the Saudi woman, and women living in Saudi, to becoming more active and pro-active, and this plight is well received by their male counterparts- for the most part.
In my workplace, I don’t suffer from any kind of clear-cut segregation or differentiation- I am treated as equally and fairly as my male colleagues- of course this is because we are in a professional environment, and if anyone has a problem with my sitting here, then they keep it to themselves. But still there is an invisible Chinese wall, not everyone is okay with the idea of having a mixed workplace in a purely Saudi company. To be honest, it doesn’t bother me, to each his own- as long as I can continue to show off my talents, and to perform, then to hell with anyone who has problem with my unveiled face sitting here.

At the end of the day the best way to deal with a closed-minded society is to accept that you have to prove double as hard you are worthy of a career and a position and of a voracious appetite for achievement and success. You will emerge from the shadows of men to become independent in mind and in action.

Temp Out of Service

I have temporarily substituted typing here, to writing in my diary. I sort of made a promise to someone that I would fill the pages of my diary once more. So I don't need this to be a source of venting for a while...pardon my disappearance, but I will be back once I decide to take my thoughts public again.

Hope

Tears, joy, sorrow, happiness, disappointment, pleasure, failure, success, hurt, betrayal, humility, pride… been through it all… but one thing that remains a constant throughout is hope. In between cracked smiles and teary eyes broken promises and crushed dreams, inflated pride and shamed humility I still have hope… and that is my essence, that is my condition, that is my belief. I believe in hope, and with hope come patience, perseverance and pureness…